Petunia

The pigs died today.
They lived on the farm from baby to adult.

We had a pig we called chops because you never name your food...

She was Petunia, her last week with us.


She liked ear scratches and fodder grass and was truly an interesting creature.  She was here for a reason and she knew it and she seemed ok with it.  You could see in her eyes a soul ready to pass thru and feel it in your heart, you do when you live with animals and take care of them.

I shed tears for the beauty and wonder of each and every animal we have here.

So I raise my growler to Petunia and thank her for her life.

I went down to the barn after work and they were gone. I realized my dream of the last 2 years was no longer a dream, I saw that we can do whatever we want here on this planet in this precious time we have here. My mother never lied to me when she said that to me.

I walked into the barn leaned against the wall and sobbed for a moment.  Perhaps it was the feelings a powerful day like today arouse.  You prepare for this day 6 months before and then the day comes and its no easier. I wish it were as easy as feeding them and ignoring them and telling yourself not to feel sad.

It is hard not to be sad about life lost.  Just like it is easy to be happy about life renewed...

I love this farm.

After my moment in the barn, I closed in the rest of the animals.  I petted each and everyone of the laying hens.  I saw spongebob(Lairds chicken) so gentle and peaceful with her weird mohawk top knot fashioned from generations of genetic muttdom.  They cooed as I petted them on their perch.

The last 2 survivors of the winters unsuccessful broiler run somehow made it in with the layers also.  It is all so random and mysterious, this life/death thing...

Why did 2 broiler hens survive but the pigs went out today?  Maybe because it was too cold to butcher them at the time, maybe it was because they were too sickly to possibly live this long...maybe the universe stayed my hand for a reason...all questions with no answer, their life circle just hasn't closed the loop yet.

So as the winter closes, so do the circles of life.

I welcome spring and wonder, fixing fences and laughing boys, lettuce and smiles and sunshine on my face.

I thank the universe for all things.

Love, The Farm.